Confessions of an Almost-Bride...

I have a feeling that when this writing starts, it will pour out and never stop. I'm going to work on this blog for a long time today, in small stitches between work.

I had forgotten, maybe even taken forgranted, how great it is to have friends who leave voicemails on your phone like this:

"Misty, I'm calling to pick your brain about grantwriting for nonprofits, because I have a really cool idea and I think I've finally figured out the true vision of the greater good."

I owe this to having the opportunity to attend an amazingly progressive college all those years ago (even in the middle of a conservative area), to having friends who are truly passionate about making the world a better place, and to Verizon cellphone voicemail (important to mention since I spent so many years denouncing cellphones). Granted, who knows if her idea will work or not? Not me. But the idealism of friends is refreshing...and it reminds me--I'm in that category, too!

Here's a surprise: I'm really excited to be a bride! Not just a wife or daughter-in-law or sister-in-law---for I've been excited about that from the beginning of all this---but a BRIDE! This comes as a surprise to me, although maybe it shouldn't. It is only fair that after all the thoughts I've had in my head so many times about how anti-wedding I would be when I got married; how many times, despite my best efforts, I secretly felt bewildered and confused at old friends who wrote with talk of dresses and flowers and bridesmaids and etc., that I find that it is an effort for me to remember to talk about anything else!

There are two reasons for that. One is, planning a wedding in 3 months means that I have to eat, sleep, and breathe it in order to get all of it done. The other is that I'm so incredibly excited! I have been excited for the marriage since before it was even a possibility...and not just any marriage, but a true marriage of heart, minds, and souls. This is a person I can join all parts of myself with. That is nothing short of miraculous.

So being excited about marrying my husband-to-be is not new. Being excited to be a bride is. I find myself looking forward to the actual wedding itself...the flowers, the music, the family. Somehow things changed when I finally found a dress (see a subsequent blog for that adventure). I actually looked at myself and thought, "I look like a bride." It seems so stupid that something as simple as a dress could do that, but truthfully, I suddenly remembered how much I love my husband-to-be, how excited I am to start a life with him, AND how excited I am about the actual ceremony itself. Somehow, everything will be perfect, even in all the snaffoos and awkwardness that are sure to happen on the day itself.